The sail was really smooth :-) I enjoyed it lot's.
I am feeling a bit confused this week.
There are three reasons for this confusion. The one that I will talk about (I'm not ready to talk about the other two things....yet) is, I have been challenged to think about my steps after the ship.
It is still one year until my time on the ship is over, a while to go yet but I have had some uneasy feelings recently because I don't know what is going to happen next. I know that my life has been mapped out with the best possible plans for me. I believe this and trust this...I suppose I am just a bit nosey and like to know the next part is.
I am being lead along the path that is right for me. I am being lead along each step of the way and know I will find out what's next, when I am ready to be open to the next part.
I would never have given up my job in the UK and left home for two years, which is what I eventually have done. It is obvious that my creator knows me better than I know myself! He lead me along the path and guided me to get me where He wanted me. But I do feel He lead me gently. I am very scared of having the carpet swept away from under my feet. Of being in a place where I am uncomfortable and not in control. I have learned this past year that I am a bit of a control freak!
The ship is a place where you your emotions can go from one extreme to an other in less than a day. I can go from feeling claustrophobic in the closeness of community life and living with the people that I am spending this part of my life with to complete loneliness. Being in a room bursting with people but still feeling lonely. It's a good job that these feelings don't happen every day.
Today I am feeling 'understood'. I have a good friend on board who is understanding on another one of the other confusions in my head. It's always good to be understood on the ship. She has been through a simula situation and so it feels a bit easier to talk to her. She understands :-)
Ok I better go. I have four emails to reply to before dinner.
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