I actually have the best job in the world!

Thank you Lord for these children.

At the moment we are going through some very uncertain times with the ships ministry. During these times it can be easy to get down hearted and be very negative. To be honest, we have no real knowledge when the Logos hope will sail again. We know that it will happen but we haven't got a clue when. We haven't got a real clue about the upcoming ports that we are due to visit. I guess that we will still go to these places but maybe not for as long. The dry dock was due to last 9 weeks and at the moment we are on week...NINETEEN!! During these uncertain times all we can do is trust in the Lord who I know will faithfully bring us through to the other side.

I think if I wasn't with the ship children, and I was out on some random challenge team or working on the ship, I would quickly feel very negative and down but the truth is...I LOVE being with them. Each day at least one of them will make me smile or laugh for a real reason. I am totally and utterly blessed and privalidged to spend the time that I do with these beautiful and amazing Children. The Lord teaches me so much about His perfect and breathtaking creation through their young lives. Thank YOU Jesus!

So I do, I actually have the best job in the world!

Do you ever make a light joke out of a really serious situation? I think it's my coping mechanism....

So as my Facebook status said last night, it's been a tad wet here. I am probably in the safest place, here on the ship (especially now that all the dry dock holes that were made in the bottom of the ship have been filled in).
Subic Bay (where I am right now) was formally the site of a major ship-repair, supply and rest and recreation facility of the United States Navy located in Olongapore, Philippines. The Navy Exchange had the largest volume of sales of any exchange in the world, and the Naval Supply Depot handled the largest volume of fuel oil of any navy facility in the world. Today Subic Bay is mainly an industrial and commercial area. It is also a small piece of the western kind of life and haven in the poverty of the Philippines.
But just outside of the Subic Bay guarded gates and over the bridge is Olongapore. Olongapore is a real reminder of what the Philippines has been like. People living in shacks, stilt towns over rivers, young children begging etc etc
But, we are sat here in Subic Bay, Philippines with a state of "calamity" being declared in parts of Manila (a four hour drive from here) and other areas close to us. Olongapore is flooded along with many other areas. It is the middle of typhoon and monsoon season which seems to have taken it's toll on the Philippines this year. To see and read more, take a look at the following website: http://news.yahoo.com/photos/monsoons-pummel-philippines-slideshow/

I have just been looking through my photos of the ships visit to Manila in February just gone and it worries me. I met people who lived in houses on stilts ON the river. I worry how they are coping. I am sat here in dry, warm clothes. A dry, warm home and I don't have to worry about losing my belongings or where my next meal is coming from.

So this was the village that I visited. I really wonder if it is standing.

 

Photo from the news of what parts of Manila is like today.

Ariel shot of what a shanty town in Manila looks like tonight.

 People I met in Manila.

Where are they sleeping tonight?

Moving on...

We have just had a day with God, which is where this letter is coming from. We have been encouraged to acknowledge areas of our lives that we are not letting go of. Any situations where we don't forgive ourselves.

Dear friend,

You might not actually realise any of this but for the past year you have been in my thoughts daily and those thoughts have often controlled my energy, spirits and peace for that day.

I have given the situation over to God on many occasions but have still not been at any peace with it and so think that I need to send you this letter to bring closure.

The reason that it drags on for me is because I feel like I have failed you. I have never felt this way before. I have never in my life lost a friendship due to a failing on either side. I have had friendships which have fizzled out as we have both naturally moved onto new things. You may not know, but I don't go into friendships lightly. I am cautious until there is a strong connection and I know whether I will get on with someone or not. For me, our friendship was up and down. There were days when I thought that we had connected, I thought that we understood each other. But there were other days when I felt there was no connection and we just didn't get each other at all.

I have wrestled with God about my failings and He has taken me on a road to remind me that He is a jealous God who wants all of me. He is asking me what is more important, a failing which is eating me up inside or a loving relationship with Him where I am not distracted daily.

For me to move on from this I first need to tell you that I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart for any hurt I have caused you. I really am. I am sorry that I couldn't understand you. I am sorry that I couldn't be the friend that you needed or deserve.

Whether you forgive me or not, I also need to forgive myself. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to do that. But for me to do it, I have to acknowledge that I have failed and that is where this letter is coming from. I think that God is about to take me on a new road, a road where he can heal my hurting heart, a road where I will learn how to please Him rather than man or myself.

This will take time but I want to be more concerned about what He thinks of me rather than any person.

I pray that you will find the friendships that God wants for you, the ones who you will connect with and where you can both just understand each other.

Take care and God bless,

Lucy

The bigger picture...

I generally try to have/get/keep some sort of perspective on life. Ship life is always busy and always changing. One of our mottos that we aim to personally be is FAT (not in the body fat sense of the word!). We aim to be flexible, adaptable and teachable.

Today my FAT motto was tested at a few points this morning....I didn't want to be flexible, I didn't want to be adaptable and I sure wasn't in the mood for being teachable. After watching the film 'Soul Surfer' (GREAT film!) last night and having a conversation with a dear friend today. I realise that it is easy to loose perspective and I wonder if that is a human defect. That part doesn't actually worry me....what worries me is if I don't realise that I am losing perspective.

Lord, please help me to continue to see YOUR bigger picture during the daily challenges.

A perspective play with a picture ;-)

So here we see a line of people waiting to get onto the ship.....what YOU don't see and probably they don't see is......

 

The line is A LOT bigger than you first think. 

The picture above is cut out of the top right corner of the bottom picture....Cool huh??! ;-)

Before I came to the ship I never really felt patriotic.

I have never felt any regret in coming to serve my Lord and creator on this ship. I have seen many places in the world and have met many new friends along the way. I have however come to notice a new feeling. The feeling of REALLY wanting to be in two places at once. It has happened a few times. Mainly on the occasions of special family events but this weekend is a new one...
I can't help it, I am getting swept away in all the hype about the Diamond Jubilee! Before I came to the ship I never really felt patriotic. I did/do however like the Queen. At times she would be the topic of conversation I would enjoy with my Gran. That is where I heard about the history of the Royals and their time through the war. Gran told me how the Princess (now Queen) served the country in WW2. She was in the Auxiliary Territorial Service as a mechanic and driver. How on occasion she would drive one of the big trucks through the busy city of London to the palace on her own. I remember my Gran also telling me a story that when it was announced the war was over, both Princess Elizabeth and her sister Princess Margaret were allowed to go out and wander anonymously through the crowds and enjoy the celebrations. I remember being mesmerised by these stories. It made them sound like normal people. I do have a great respect for the Queen. She didn't choose her job but has served her country for most of her life with dignity. She has lived her life in the press and been criticised on the many occasions when any of her family have failed. If we are honest, we all fail. It's just when you fail with the press watching, everybody knows! The King or Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is also the head of the Church of England (I do have concerns with this but today is not the right time to express those issues) In more recent years I believe that I have sensed the Queen has been enjoying a deeper relationship with our Lord and Creator. I noticed it even more so when she gave her Christmas day address this year. She pretty much preached the gospel and to be honest I had goose bumps while listening to her!
I think the reason of thinking it would be nice to be home to watch this is because I could then enjoy it with my Gran. I could listen and enjoy the stories she shares over and over again.
The other thing, is since being on the ship, I have gained a lot more feelings about my home land. Some good and some not so good. As I am in a patriotic mood I am going to share good ones. They include, appreciating we have a long history (even though some of our history is not so good), realising our government is not corrupt like in other nations and I do like the uniqueness of having a Royal family. It might be pompass and over the top but maybe we all are like that on occasion?

We (the Grandchildren) actually nickname our Gran, The Queen! Not only are they a similar age and were each married just a year apart but they do have similar facial features and my Gran is a very strong hearted lady....just like the Queen!

See for yourself. Think they have similarities? I do!

My Grandparents with grandchildren and great grandchild.

Our Queen.

I pray that both the Queen and my Gran will deepen their walks with Christ and will both live with us for a long time to come.

Birthday break...

So, back in March I celebrated my birthday. The question my family members wanted to know was, "what can we buy you?" After some thought I decided that I would like to have a mini holiday away from the ship. So, my family blessed me by giving me the money to pay for this mini break. I wanted to find a quiet place where I would be able to swim, read and rest.
I have just got back from a very relaxing few days away where all I did was swim, read, rest....and ate good food ;-)
Here is a taste of what the pool area was like. The hotel and pool is built into a mountain. Beautiful :-)

I will add some more photos at a later date :-)
Thank you for treating me...it was a treat!

I have had enough of Doctors, eye problems, eye drops and been told on numerous occasions that I am being sent home for treatment.

I have had this eye issue since the beginning of February. I started off with a bade dose of what I thought to be conjunctivitis. I was given an eye cream which was really hard and disgusting to put in my eye. But I prevailed with it and the eye seemed to get better :-) Then around two/three weeks after that it started to get worse again. I went back to our ship doctor (who I must say has been amazing through this whole time. I have a huge amount of respect from him. His wife has been an amazing encouragement also), Anyhow Doctor Paul happened to be going to the hospital with some other ships crew and he asked me to also come. I was seen by an Ophthalmologist doctor, he checked my eyes and I was found to have Central Microbial Keratitis in both eyes with an ulcer on the cornea of my right eye. It might be useful to know, Microbial keratitis is a major cause of monocular blindness in developing countries. He took some scrapings off the eye and sent them to the lab to be tested. As I am sure you will understand, that was very uncomfortable. At one point I was guided through the busy city of Manila by holding the hand of the ship nurse. I couldn't open my eyes and was feeling very vulnerable. The ophthalmologist prescribed me with two sets of eye drops and I was sent back to the ship being instructed to put them in every 3 hours. The ship then moved to Subic Bay (where we are now). We found a new Ophthalmologist to monitor the infection. After about 3 weeks of eye drops, the infection had gone! YEY! I was then put on steroid drops for two weeks. The steroids were used to thin the scar of the ulcer on the cornea because if the cornea scared, it would be possible that I would be left with a cloudy patch of vision in that eye. So the timing for those drops to finish also tied in with when we packed up the ship school (the ship has gone into dry dock). I spent 3 full days packing up my classroom, packing for what I needed to take for school on shore and packing up the rest to be put into storage as the classroom needed to be used as a sleeping space in dry dock. It was long and very tiring. Before I knew it my 'red' eye had come back. I must admit that I was sick of it by that point. I was frustrated that it wouldn't just heal. Dr Paul was concerned again and told me I needed to see the Ophthalmologist again. He also mentioned that if the Ophthalmologist wasn't happy with my eye then he would be sending me back to the UK for treatment. This was the third time that he had told/warned me that it was a real possibility. The first two times I was told that, I was concerned but could also see some advantages to going to the UK. I would be home for my birthday, I would be home for Easter. But for some reason on this occasion, it really upset me. I knew that I didn't want to go back to the UK under these circumstances. I was worried that I wouldn't get back to the ship for a long time, if at all. My school team were an amazing support to me during this time. So I, with Dr Paul went to the hospital to see the Ophthalmologist. He couldn't work out why the eye was red again. Thankfully the infection wasn't back but he just couldn't work it. It has now been put down to stress and tiredness, probably with the school move etc. But the Ophthalmologist decided that he wanted me to have a chest scan. Seemingly the eyes are the windows to your insides and if something isn't right with your eyes then it is possible that something may not be right inside. I had the scan last week and thankfully it has come back clear. I didn't really want the scan. I know it sounds stupid but I didn't want to hear any bad news. Suppose I was being a tad “glass half empty”.
So I am back on the steroid drops and are due to finish them in the next couple of days. I am praying that they eye can manage without the drop as I have seriously had enough of eye drops!

A song that has been in my head and heart over this time is this one printed below.

Still: Words and Music by Reuben Morgan
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

I continue to be still and have peace that you are the God who loves me enough to die for me. You are bigger than the trials I go through and you cover me with your mighty hand. Thank you Lord!